Night Weaning Thoughts: Part 1
It’s rather comical, sometimes- the difference between our children. We might have the knowledge in our brain to remind us that even though they may have been born of the same parents, raised in the same home, eat the same food and drink the same (bath) water… but sometimes our hearts and mental energy forget that they are very obviously their own individuals.
This comes roaring to the surface at certain times and for me- one of these areas has been weaning from the breast at night. My first daughter was 19 months old when I became pregnant with my second, and it was a fairly smooth process to wean at night and soon after that, completely. I knew I didn’t want to tandem nurse and I preferred a break of sorts in between breastfeeding kids. Also, it got uncomfortable once the first trimester was underway. Sometimes looking back in life and parenting you find yourself wondering if you are remembering things accurately… maybe this is just me? Like a autobiographical gaslighting of sorts? Several times I’ve asked my husband- “This feels harder than it did with first daughter, right?!”
My second daughter has a tenacity to her that reminds me of myself (ha) and I absolutely love that about her. It also challenges us as parents to hold loving boundaries in the face of high emotion and dysregulation from her. Weaning can be a really emotional time for both toddlers and parents. Any time we look to change a routine or a ritual it can be challenging, but none more so in my experience than breastfeeding. Those night nursing sessions have been all we’ve ever known… the panacea for every tummy ache, chill in the air, lonely feeling or desire for reconnection. Night nursing (as is intended!) buoyed our nursing journey by driving my supply during the day, especially those prolactin-laden, bleary-eyed early morning nursing sessions snuggled in bed together. Placing myself in a position of empathy with my child, as usual, changes the game for me. I can work together with her to make this a peaceful transition WHILE understanding my own body’s signals that are telling me it’s time to make a gentle change. The cold-turkey approach isn’t for our family at this time, but let me share a couple key things that have improved and been a big change so far:
Communication
Every child’s development timeline is different, but right about the time we started wanting to cut down on night nursing sessions, our second daughter’s language just started exploding. We have always practiced communication in that we have talked constantly to our kids even when they couldn’t converse back- but this came in really handy that we started to be able to have some feedback loops. Our daughter would wake up, ask for mee-moo (her word for nursing) and I started to put some boundaries around it in words- “Mommy is going to get up, use the bathroom and then come back and you can have mee-moo.” Or I would say, “Mommy is feeling really tired, and we already did mee-moo. Daddy can walk you now instead.” Or, “Mommy’s boobs are done with mee-moo. Would you like cow's milk instead?” Sometimes she would cry and fight it and then we practiced holding space for her and being there for her while she experienced her emotional response. Occasionally she would fall back asleep but most of the time she would eventually want Daddy snuggles or some cow’s milk. Or sometimes she would immediately say yes, she wanted Daddy or cow’s milk. Either way, it was helpful to be able to communicate in words and know she understood us.
Duration
This comes right along with communication because I have practiced setting a duration boundary with her in words, and she understands it. She will wake up and ask for mee-moo. I will say, “Mommy is very tired. I am willing to do mee-moo for 1 minute (I used to say 1-2 minutes). After that, I will be all done, and you can snuggle mommy but we will be all done with mee-moo.” She does really well with this. I will unlatch her when I’m feeling done, and she will roll over and go to sleep. It’s crazy because if I forget to say my little speech about 1 minute, it’s a lot harder to settle her and she will ask for more mee-moo. It helps me a lot because even though she’s still nursing some, I feel liberated in that I can unlatch her when I feel done and she typically is ok with that, and I can roll over and fall asleep too. It also just feels like a really reasonable boundary to have at this age that supports both of us.
And that’s what I think it boils down to ultimately. Everyone’s journey is going to look way different. The important thing is that you are listening to your baby and listening to yourself and putting those needs together in a way that supports your attachment and relationships. It doesn’t mean that you can’t let your baby cry or that you can’t set boundaries, far from it- in fact, the opposite is true. Boundaries are so important, but they need to be lovingly set with no loss of connection AND age-appropriate.
I’ll do another post when I have more to report on the night weaning front. Sending sleepy vibes!
Light x Little Sleepers: Melanopsin & Circadian Rhythms
“They’re going to sleep so great tonight!”
We’ve all probably heard this before after our kids spend a day engaged in intense outside play: sunshine, running and jumping. They come inside at last, with rosy cheeks and wild hair. We know instinctively that the bright sun influences us and along with the physical activity involved, we anticipate a sound sleep for both ourselves and our children.
Why is this?
What is so special about natural light in the realm of infant/toddler sleep - not to mention our own?
How can we use natural light to support healthy sleep rhythms and maximize our entire family’s innate human drive to experience deep, restorative, healing sleep?
A Surprising “M”-VP
… No, I’m not referring to melatonin, although of course melatonin has a huge role in this process! I’m going to introduce you to another member of the light and sleep team, one you may not have heard of.
Have you ever wondered how your body seems to have a firm grasp on whether to feel sleepy or alert— even without referring to an actual clock? Or why your baby seems more alert during the day and gets fussier as the sun sets? Or, why in the early days and weeks, sleep feels completely all over the place with days and nights seemingly “mixed up”?
Behind the scenes, the eyes are doing so much more than observing the world and making you fall in love with those sparkly depths. Hidden deep within the structure of your baby’s eyes are specialized, light-sensitive cells that help their brain learn the difference between day and night. These cells are called intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells, or ipRGCs. ipRGCs receive input from a unique light-sensing protein called melanopsin. They play a integral role in developing the sleep-wake cycle- also known as homeostatic sleep drive or circadian rhythm, which is the “internal clock” which helps guide when we sleep and wake. ipRGCs and melanopsin help the brain know whether it’s day or night, which has far-reaching influence: helping regulate everything from sleep to mood to hormone balance. Let’s dive deeper into how this incredible system operates and how it influences the sleep patterns of yourself and your baby, how homeostatic sleep drive matures over time, and how you can use natural light to gently support better rest.
Circadian Rhythms
At birth, your baby was born with a weak circadian rhythm that was influenced by maternal inputs, such as maternal hormones crossing through the placenta into the baby’s bloodstream. After birth, this rhythm was reinforced with hormones in breastmilk if breastfed.
However, the biological 24 hour “internal clock” that regulates sleep/wake cycles is immature and doesn’t fully develop until 3-4 months. Research has shown that appropriate exposure to light in the postnatal period is absolutely critical for healthy circadian development. This is called circadian entrainment, and it is the process by which the baby’s brain receives signals from the ipRGCs to send input throughout the body to influence circadian rhythms. This is accomplished through various means, including hormone regulation and homeostatic processes like movement and digestion. If the baby does not receive light input to help influence and develop this sleep-wake cycle, it can lead to lifelong circadian rhythm dysfunction.
How Light Shapes Sleep
ipRGCs are designed to be highly sensitive to natural light. In fact, they are positioned within the retina only in very specific regions, which correlate to high functional sensitivity to light entering the lower visual field. This, fascinatingly, correlates to light entering the eye from above. This makes total sense because the light from celestial bodies is entering into the human eye from above, meaning the ipRGC’s are optimized to receive natural light from the sun and moon- the original sources of light for human life.
As ipRGCs are exposed to sunlight, melanopsin sends signals to non-image-forming centers in the brain indicating that it is daytime. This essentially “turns off” melatonin production, adjusts mood, energy and focus for wakefulness and controls pupillary response to light. Based on the timing of this light exposure, melatonin secretion from the pineal gland will turn back on when the natural light fades and the brain is no longer receiving signals that it is daytime from the ipRGCs.
Understanding this process is key to grasping how light affects the development of your baby’s circadian rhythms, and how using light can greatly influence sleep patterns and rhythms.
Supporting Baby’s Internal Clock
Blue light gets a bad rap. But it is blue light coming from the sky that drives our body clock and keeps us alert and awake during the day. The issue arises when we introduce blue light when our melanopsin is decreasing and our melatonin should be increasing, or if we never get the blue light exposure during the day to stimulate our ipRGCs to start the wakefulness cascade.
Prioritize morning/daytime light exposure Take your baby outside as soon as possible in the morning. Open your blinds/windows, weather permitting. Go for walks any time - but especially in the morning sunshine!
Reduce evening light exposure Reduce blue light from screens close to bedtime. Consider spending the last hour or so leading up to bedtime with dim warm light to signal impending sleep and to trigger melatonin production.
Create daily rhythms around light Use light to your advantage to reinforce natural sleep rhythms and sleep-wake cycles! Consider ditching the black-out curtains during the day, but using them at night to create less light stimulation and deeper physiological sleep cueing in the evening. Create rhythm to increase natural light (walks in the sun, picnic lunches, stroller or outside naps, weather permitting). For newborns, this consistent light exposure at appropriate times will help them develop a strong circadian rhythm which will benefit them their whole life.
Avoid bright lighting during the night as much as possible, screens before bedtime, dim environments all day. Be mindful of evening summer sun at bedtime and use room-darkening curtains to simulate dark night for bedtime.
From around birth to 6 weeks old, baby’s sleep rhythms are predominantly random patterns based on stimulation, feeding and homeostatic sleep pressure influencing sleep drive and wakefulness. At around 6 weeks, rhythms begin forming but do not fully mature until 3-6 months. At 3-6 months, depending upon your unique baby, they develop their own more stable sleep-wake cycles, ideally synced up with external light cues.
Setting the Stage
For pregnant mamas- did you know your own circadian clock and sleep/wake cycles play a huge role in that of your baby? By observing rhythms of natural light and darkness, you can directly influence the chronosensitivity of your baby and help set them up for a healthy circadian rhythm down the road. Research has shown that if circadian signals from the mother to the baby in utero are interrupted or altered, such as with light pollution, inappropriate exposure to blue light, etc., this can negatively impact the baby’s circadian clock once birth occurs and the baby’s own intrinsic circadian clock begins to mature. It’s never too early to follow the above sleep/light hygiene recommendations.
Gentle Reminders
You are not doing anything wrong, mama! Take this information as empowerment for the future, and knowledge to support the sleep health of your entire family. Go gently with yourself and your baby, and remember that rhythms take time and your baby is developing as they were designed.
Develop your daily rhythms as just that- let go of strict and high-pressure schedules and instead create a daily rhythm that supports your body’s intrinsic needs and design as well as that of your baby. Don’t fight nature, let it support you!
Need more help? Contact me or set up a virtual sleep consult call today. I’d love to help support you and your family to get better rest and more connection.
xoxo,
Laura
References:
1. Hattar, S., Liao, H. W., Takao, M., Berson, D. M., & Yau, K. W. (2002). Melanopsin-containing retinal ganglion cells: architecture, projections, and intrinsic photosensitivity. Science, 295(5557), 1065–1070.
https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1069609
2. Do, M. T., & Yau, K. W. (2010). Intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells. Physiological Reviews, 90(4), 1547–1581.
https://doi.org/10.1152/physrev.00013.2010
3. Blume, C., Garbazza, C., & Spitschan, M. (2019). Effects of light on human circadian rhythms, sleep and mood. Somnologie, 23(3), 147–156.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s11818-019-00215-x
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8. Claudia Torres-Farfan, Natalia Mendez, Pamela Ehrenfeld, Maria Seron-Ferre, In utero circadian changes; facing light pollution, Current Opinion in Physiology, Volume 13, 2020, Pages 128-134, ISSN 2468-8673, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cophys.2019.11.005.(https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2468867319301774)